My name is Jesse Nieboer. I’m 39, I live in Iowa, and I’ve been a Christian for basically my whole life. I’m a computer programmer by trade, unmarried, and a member of Third Church.
While my writing is focused on some pretty weighty topics here, I do have a life outside of sober reflection: board games, video games, community theater, sci-fi and fantasy, programming projects, and learning are all things that I enjoy.
As for my faith journey, the following is adapted from testimony I wrote for my adult baptism in August 2023:
Raised in a Christian home, I have been a Christian as far back as I can remember. Although I remember going to an evangelism campaign at age 7 or so, raising my hand to accept Jesus and signing a little booklet saying so, my faith has been less about one big definitive moment and more about growing stronger in it over time.
As a teenager I went through a period of asking “Do I really believe this? Am I going to adopt this for myself?” Reading C.S. Lewis’s Mere Christianity gave me the intellectual foundation I needed at the time. I also began to experience relationship with God in a more tangible way than I had known before.
At age 17 I was prepared to confirm my infant baptism with a profession of faith when I became suddenly afraid of the unforgivable sin and started having serious doubts about my salvation. This kicked off a painful season of fear and darkness that lasted through my young adulthood; I was never sure of my status with God and lived with a pervasive, grinding anxiety that drove my whole life.
In my early 30s, through a sermon series at my church about the Kingdom of God, I began walking more closely with Jesus and disentangling from some bad ideas I had ingrained in me. Then at 35 I received a rather definitive sign from God that broke the power of the fear of the unforgivable sin that had consumed me. I have been working that out ever since, confronting, processing and writing about my fears and questions. Without God’s intervention I would not have recovered to this point, but now I am becoming a person who can help those who were in my situation.
I still have much growing to do and questions to ask, but I’m trusting Jesus to save me and I don’t believe he’ll let me down. And I’m committed to being his disciple, thinking as he thought, saying what he said, doing what he did, and relating to God and others the way he taught us.